2017 was a bit of a rough year for my photography. It started around August. I felt that dreaded photography rut coming on and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I just let it happen. And it hung around and hung around and .... 2018 came and I had all of these crazy little ideas for projects and what not and well. Here I am. February and still, nothing.
It's different now. The feeling I have when I pick up my camera. It's not so much that I am in a rut like I was a few months ago but rather no matter what images I take, I still feel completely uninspired which in turn makes it totally uninteresting.
I think back to years past. I try to think of my own personal journey and I have come to realize that when things started to become complicated, as in "technical", is when it started to just go downhill for me. I look back at my images from years ago, when I was still very much learning all of those technical things about photography and although I might make a few faces and cringe a bit when I see my images, one thing is for sure. I knew how I felt when I took them.
It was an exciting time. Even though I had so much to learn and knew very little about exposure triangle and rule of thirds. Heck, I didn't even know much about how my actual camera worked, it was exhilarating though. It was so much fun to at least try. And more often than not, I would have these images come rolling through my Lightroom and they would just fill me with such joy and inspiration. And they are what made me push that much more and to take more and more photos, almost daily!
Then I learned how my camera worked. I learned the exposure triangle. I learned the rule of thirds. I learned how to properly take a photo. A technically sound photo if you will... And that's when the excitement started to fade. I knew I had to keep pushing myself to keep that fire lit but how?
At this point in my journey, I started to feel as though all of my images were looking the same. Same lighting, same shadows, same colors, same scenes, same, same, same and I know that within the photography community, the word mundane is thrown around quite a bit. You might hear things like "embrace the mundane" or "the beautiful mundane" but let's be honest here... The mundane can get pretty damn boring and when it does, and maybe this is just me, but that's when I usually end up in these month(s) long ruts.
My mundane is literally the same.thing.every.single.day and in the big scheme of things, there isn't anything wrong with that. I am a creature of habit and I like my routines and schedules but damn. When it comes to trying to be creative and take photos, that every.single.day.routine starts to drag you down. Well, it does for me anyways. I start to feel as though I take the same exact photos, over and over because the scene is the exact same, every day. Right down to the amount of light and shadows and smirks and objects in the frame. It's the exact same, all the time.
And because of this, my camera ends up being more of a paperweight on my desk than anything else. I mean I absolutely love taking photos of my kids and I cherish each and every image that has their smiling little faces in it but... I get into this mindset that if I am going to be doing this. Taking the same photos all.the.time, then I mine as well just use my phone. It's quick, it's easy and simple and I don't have to worry about not being inspired. I just know that I am capturing little moments here and there and that's all there is to it.
But as a creative. A photographer... There is just something that a "real" camera can capture that your phone cannot. I can't quite explain it or put my finger on it but having a camera in your hand (not a phone), you feel as though the limits are endless. You can do things with that camera and set it up to capture scenes that might otherwise be overlooked when all your doing it pulling your phone out.
And that, my friends, is my current situation. I am searching for that scene that I have been endlessly overlooking for these past few months. I know it's there and even though my every.single.day is the same, one right after the other, those little scenes are there. Waiting to be found and captured.
Sometimes pulling yourself out of a rut is more in-depth than just forcing yourself to take photos. This is the time to look around at what is going on. A time to think outside of the creative box and really focus on the hidden little gems and moments that have been there all along but you were so consumed with "inspiration" that you couldn't see them.
As photographers, I think we sometimes get so consumed and caught up with the technical aspects of photography. We get into this trap of self-doubt and we start to tell ourselves that what we are doing is not good enough. Because the light isn't perfect or the colors are not perfect or the shadows are not perfect but sometimes I think we really just need to say "screw the technical stuff". Maybe sometimes we need to bring ourselves back to when we first started to learn everything. That mindset we had back then and the feelings of excitement upon taking just a few simple photos.
So for this year, as I slowly make my way back into the photography community and find my voice again, I will strive to be less complicated and to focus more on the moments that matter vs the self-doubt that can sometimes get in the way and hold me back. I will find that creativity that was always 100% present, back in the days of learning and I will use that to find the joy again so that I can move forward from here and get back into what I have always loved to do...
Take photos.
Whose with me!?
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